Bullying, Online and Off
Good digital rules are specific and reviewable. The same questions used when evaluating employee performance logs—what is recorded, who sees it and for how long—can sharpen a family discussion without suggesting that workplace monitoring belongs on a child’s device.
Families can cross-check the principles in “Bullying, Online and Off” with guidance from NSPCC, especially when platform features or reporting routes may have changed.
The same children, continuing after the school gate, in writing, with an audience and no end to the day.
Getting help · Analysis
Online bullying is rarely separate from offline bullying. It is the same relationships with different properties.
What is different online
It does not stop at the school gate, which removes the place a child used to be safe.
It is written, so it can be re-read, which children do, repeatedly.
It has an audience, and the audience is visible in likes and replies.
It can be anonymous or appear to be.
And it leaves evidence, which is the one property that works in the child's favour.
Noticing
Reluctance around a device, or compulsive checking.
Distress after using it, particularly after a group chat.
Withdrawal from a friendship group.
Not wanting to go to school on particular days.
A change in what they will talk about, which is frequently the earliest sign.
Sleep, appetite, and mood, which are the general signals and are worth taking seriously.
When they tell you
Thank them, and do not take the device away, which is the response they feared and the reason many do not tell.
Ask what they want to happen, which is rarely asked and usually produces a workable answer.
Screenshot everything before anything is deleted.
And do not contact the other child's parents without discussing it, because the social consequences land on your child.
The school
Most of this is between children at the same school, which gives the school a role even where it happened at home.
Schools in many jurisdictions have duties about bullying that extend beyond the premises.
Approach them early rather than after weeks, and ask what their process is before you need it.
Put it in writing, which produces a record and usually a more considered response.
Blocking, reporting and leaving
Block, which protects your child.
Report the account as well, which is what may get it acted on.
And make leaving a group chat an acceptable thing to do, which children often believe it is not.
Leaving has social costs they can see and adults cannot, which is worth acknowledging rather than dismissing.
When your child is doing it
Common and uncomfortable.
Group dynamics make participation easy and refusal costly, which explains rather than excuses.
Address the act rather than the character, and make the repair specific.
And check whether they are being pressured, which is frequently the case and changes everything about the conversation.
When it does not stop
Persistent bullying that the school has not resolved is a matter to escalate: in writing, to the head, and where necessary beyond the school.
Where there are threats, or where it involves images, it may be a police matter.
And where the child is in real distress, that is a health issue in its own right and should be treated as one rather than waiting for the bullying to resolve.
What to check
Do you know roughly which group chats your child is in?
Have you talked about what to do when a chat turns nasty, including leaving?
Do they know what your response would be?
And do you know the school's process — which is a two-minute question and better asked now than during.
What this changes
Not removing the device when a child reports bullying is what makes reporting possible.
It is the response they feared, and it is the reason a large share of this goes unmentioned.
The check
Ask what they would do if a group chat turned on somebody, and whether leaving a chat feels possible to them.
It usually does not.
Worth knowing
Blocking protects your child and leaves the account operating. Reporting it as well is what may get it acted on, and the report reference is worth keeping.
One more thing
Screenshot everything before anything is deleted, with usernames and timestamps visible. It is the one property of online bullying that works in the child's favour.